Back the fuck up for a second there, bro.
I can’t take this shit anymore. It’s like for the past 3 months i’ve been fighting full fucking forced against a tidal wave and I’ m about to be knocked the fuck over. I have such high desperation for shit. I try non stop for you, holding onto things that I think are worth keeping. But you keep fucking this up and all I’ve been good at is forgiving your ass for it. WHY. for WHY? for love? do I even know what that is? I need to back up. I’m not thinking clearly… but come the fuck on.. when is this 90/10 bulll shit going to fucking end? When I end it? Who the fuck am I kidding?! We all know I don’t have the urge deep inside my heart to end shit but I’ve got to learn my worth. I’ve got to quit challenging time and telling myself that things will get better, because clearly they aren’t. They honestly haven’t for months.
The problem with people is, you can’t change them. They are going to do exactly what they want regardless of how much they know you hate it, or how bad it may or may not hurt you. How much bull shit is that? Isn’t love all about being understanding and compromising to one another? well, isn’t it? But it hasn’t been that. Not for me. Our perspectives vary from person to person. Life is all about outlooks, and that is how we learn. But I fucking hate this outlook. I don’t want to look back and realize how stupid I was and that I should have done things differently. But if “life is too short,” and I don’t take risks, how do I know otherwise. I am blabbering. Whatever.
My point is… I don’t want to be the good-hearted person who deserves everything to be sold short in life. I know I am damn good person. I would treat a man in a way he has no idea could even exist, But holy shit, no one wants to keep that kind of woman. Say it. “You’re going for the wrong men.” I genuinely thought this man was so fucking good, you have no idea. All good things end though. No joke.
On the edge of saying fuck this shit.
Again, who am I kidding…
